Shock and Awww

Every time I look into his little face, I can't help but remember the moment I found out we were going to be parents again. I have to admit that I wasn't exactly thrilled. In fact, I was very upset. We have been struggling financially, Jim and I had just started new jobs with a non-profit and we already had one "late-in-life" surprise pregnancy. I felt like an irresponsible teenager. You would think that a 43 year old woman and her 48 year old husband would know how to avoid these surprises, especially after being married for almost 20 year. I cried - for about two weeks. After the tears subsided, I settled into resentful resignation. Thankfully, I was surrounded by family and friends who were excited enough for us and for this new little life. And I had friends who were willing to admit that they, too, had experienced the same trepidation and dread that I was experiencing. They assured me that once I looked into that little face of my new baby, I would fall in love. With some skepticism, I held onto the hope that they were right.

Now looking into this face, I remember those days and the insightful words of my "been-there, felt-that" friends and I can honestly say, they were right. I AM IN LOVE! Do I regret feeling the way that I did at the beginning of my pregnancy? No (well, maybe a little). Each of my pregnancies (six, in all) has given me insights into different emotions that other women have experienced upon learning they are carrying a baby or learning that they have lost the life inside of them. I believe that God has given me this insight so that I can speak to other women about motherhood. I can celebrate, calm, console and commiserate from experience.

That is what I am setting out to do with this blog. I hope to be able to share my stories of struggles and triumphs along my journey as a mom to 4 beautiful (and sometimes, not so beautiful) kids. My kids range in age from 16 years to 18 days. I hope that anyone reading this blog will find something they can relate to or even laugh at. And know that, as a mom, on any given day, I will be in a state of shock and...

awwww.